5 Years On
by Imtellingmyfatheraboutthis
Summary: The revolution is over. Peace has returned to Panem, but has peace returned to Katniss? Every year she must venture into the capitol, for a memorial service in remembrance of The Revolution. There will be one chapter for each year she goes to the memorial service. I hope you enjoy it!


**Hiya! Sorry I haven't written anything in a long time, I don't really know why, I have no valid excuse! Today I thought I'd do something a little different and go for a Hunger Games fanfiction! Hope you enjoy it! I'm not sure it was too good! Oh, and, it's written from Katniss' perspective, if you didn't work it out!  
P.S. Reviews honestly do make my day, the good and the bad. It's just lovely to know that someone cares about what I have written! :)**

It will be five years tomorrow. Five years since I was engulfed by the screams of dying children, by the sight of blood oozing out of bodies, by death. Five years. Yet I find myself in that world every night, even slipping into my nightmares during the day. I constantly play back the moment I saw a girl, with long blonde hair, with her shirt tucked out slightly, just like a duck, the moment I saw that girl blown sky high, because she wanted to save other people. I try to forget, and peeta helps me, but it is impossible. It's not just the face of the first person you killed, that you cannot forget, it's everyone. Everyone who died for me. Because of me. Because I was too cowardly to save them. Because I let them die for me. They used to call me a hero, some still do, but I am not a hero, I am a coward. I am feeble, weak, selfish. I am not a hero of The Rebellion. The heroes of The Rebellion are the nurses, the girl with the long blonde hair, who died saving others, the young man with sandy hair and eyes the colour of the sea, who died with hope, with the thought that the people he cared about, alive and soon to be alive, lived in a better world than the one he knew.

And so tomorrow I shall have to leave my home, with Peeta and Haymitch, on a train to the square in the centre that we once called the Capitol. It is a memorial service, planned by the government, they intend for it to become annual after this, first memorial service of The Rebellion.

I walk into the square of my nightmares, my sweaty and clutched tightly around Peeta's. As soon as I see the square I visualise the day five years ago. The screams echo in the inside of my head. I am shaking. I can't move anymore, I can't get any closer, it feels like walking on a heap of dead bodies. I realise Peeta has bent down and is wiping my cheeks. It is only then I discover I am crying. In fact I have tears streaming down my face. I wrap my arms around him and bury my head into his coat," I can't go any further," I mumble. He gently takes my hand and we slowly walk towards the crowds of people standing in lines, in the square. They look solemn, a few a silently crying, but no one there is reacting the same way as me, I cannot forget the past and live in the present, for the present is unknown, and I fear the darkness of unknown, because I am a coward. The service must have begun at some point, but the screams inside my head blocked out the real world. I am lost in an oblivion inside my head. I look around frantically, hoping to see someone come back from the dead, when I catch sight of a familiar face. A face more aged and broken than the last time I had seen it, yet still familiar. I looked at his dark hair, the shape of his eyebrows, grey eyes, in a colour identical to mine, I saw the soft curve of his nose and his soft lips, and imagined the taste of oranges, when his lips were pressed against mine, those many years ago. Gale.

As if sensing my presence his face turned and his eyes connected with mine, his expression changing surely remembering all the days we had spent together. An instant later, his head had turned and his eyes moved on. For that second, my waking nightmares had left me. I looked back straight ahed, clutched Peeta's hand even tighter than before and found myself slipping into the abyss of mind own mind again.

**So there you go! hope it was okayish! And a review won't hurt you! :D **


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